My Story

Hailey’s Story

This is my first time ever to blog……

To start off my blog I thought that I should give you the opportunity to understand why I am a Christian and why I am so passionate about Jesus. My father is a pastor, because of this I think that people often assume that I have a perfect relationship with Christ and that I do not understand their struggles. I am sharing my testimony so that you know I am not perfect, I am a sinner in desperate need of Jesus. My hope is that God would use this blog to glorify him and only Him.

So here is my story.

There once was a girl who was torn from everything that she knew. This girl was tormented, mocked, hated, and betrayed. She was hurt, broken, and bitter. She had become everything that she never wanted to be. This girl was simply just a girl. She was a wanderer in the midst of overwhelming crowds. This girl’s name was Hailey Haynes. Now, let me tell you her story.

Hailey Haynes was an innocent child who had everything that she ever needed or wanted. She was surrounded by people who loved her and brought joy into her life. Then, one day her father became the bearer of bad news. On this day her life was forever changed. You may ask yourself the question, “What did her father tell her?” Well, he told her the one thing every eleven year-old girl never wants to hear, “We are moving.” Those three words have forever altered Hailey’s life. That day her heart changed. She went from being a girl who saw the good in everything to the girl who saw nothing but chaos.

Hailey started hanging out with the wrong kind of friends right before she moved. These friends encouraged Hailey to cuss. These were the kind of friends who bragged about the parties that they went to on the weekend. These friends really were not her friends because they did not truly care about her. Hailey hung out with these friends because they all had one thing in common; they were hurting. No one really knew about Hailey’s new group of friends. This was Hailey’s dark little secret.

Meanwhile, moving was just around the corner. Hailey had done everything that she possibly could to convince her parents that they shouldn’t move. She screamed and yelled. She threw herself an enormous pity party. One regretful night, Hailey was done trying. She had a fight with her parents. She told them that everything in her hated them. She threatened them by saying that she would kill herself if they moved. Her parents told her that they had to move because it was God’s will. Hailey was actually going to move. When Hailey came to this realization she went to her room and locked the door. Hailey was having her first panic attack. She did everything she could to stop it until she decided that she should just kill herself. Hailey then began to suffocate herself with a belt causing her to pass out. About an hour later Hailey woke up on her bedroom floor and pretended that what she did never happened. This moment has forever been detrimental to Hailey’s life.

A couple weeks later Hailey moved. She was miserable, hurt, and furious. Hailey hated her parents and despised God. Hailey was depressed, so Hailey did the only thing that gave her an escape from the chaos. She literally suffocated herself, and looked at things that she shouldn’t have looked at. Her sin was her  only escape. One could even call it her freedom. Ironically, it was her freedom that contained her. Her freedom then became her chaos. But, Hailey’s heart was so twisted and broken that she was okay with being contained. Hailey did not feel the affect of the containment until the realized that she was locked in for eternity.

Four years later, Hailey had enough anger stored in her for three thousand people. Her relationship with God dwindled away into thin air. At least her side of the relationship had withered. Hailey was looking at things she shouldn’t be looking at. She filled her mind and heart with things of the world. Hailey was full of despair instead of joy. She had become a pessimist. Her heart that used to be full of love was now full of hate. Her sin was in total control of her life. Hailey found herself drowning in self pity and was unsure of what to do. Hailey was tired; tired of fighting back and tired of struggling to be happy. Hailey was hopeless.

Then she decided that she needed help so she went to the safest place that she knew; her mom. She truly struggled to tell her mom what was going on. Finally, she told her everything. Hailey was relieved, but also disappointed with herself. Actually saying what she had been doing out loud opened Hailey’s eyes to the truth. Her mother loved her and reassured her that she would always love her. Hailey then knew she had to do the thing she feared the most. She had to tell her father what she had been doing. She had a blank face, trying to show no emotion, while telling her father what she had done. After she told her father she simply turned around and walked away fearing how he would respond. This was the most difficult thing that Hailey would ever do. The next day, she was shocked when her father embraced her in a loving hug. Her father cried with her and told that he loved her and that he would love her no matter the circumstance. He also made it clear to Hailey that he would do what ever was needed to help her. This meant so much to Hailey, but it wasn’t enough. Hailey needed redemption, she needed unconditional love, but most importantly she needed a light at the end of the tunnel.

Hailey was now at the lowest point of her life and decided that he only thing to do was to look up. She began attending counseling sessions. In these counseling sessions she finely felt free to talk about her brokenness and her bitterness. This began to bring hope into Hailey’s life. She was starting to understand that she has a purpose in life. She had to humble herself to realize that she could not fight this fight alone. She needed her parents but most of all she needed Jesus. Hailey had to develop a relationship with God in order to be freed from her sins; this was the kind of freedom that Hailey’s heart was longing to experience. Hailey had to recognize that it was necessary for her security and identity to be in Christ before things could rightly improve.

We saw that Hailey was bitter and utterly broken, covered in sorrow. Finding fulfillment in worldly things caused her to suffer. You could say that she reaped what she sowed. But when she let God take total control of her life, she was free, she was redeemed, and she had a purpose for life. Now Hailey is joyful and loves instead of hating. Yes, she still does make mistakes and does still have wounds from her mistakes but she is the daughter of the perfect Father, Jesus Christ. She knows that she is free in him. Hailey Haynes is no longer a slave to sin.

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26 thoughts on “My Story

  1. Beautifully written Hailey! It takes courage to be transparent, I’m sure the Lord will use your this to help others. You’re a beautiful gift to the kingdom!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. WOW!
      Strong and Courageous girl! I am so encouraged by your testimony and I PRAISE GOD. You Hailey, are living proof that our Loving Father truly brings beauty from ashes! Though there are many stories similar to yours, it’s rare that a person is willing to allow the truth to be known intentionally. I’m a 30 year old woman who has seen and been through a lot on this journey called life. I know how difficult it is to attempt to live a life of integrity after living in secrecy and shame for many years. Everyone in the world says “I keep it 100″… the truth is, only few do so. You are in the few. Im excited about what God has done and will faithfully continue to do in your life and through you. Keep up the good race girl and thank you so much for sharing! Praise God!

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  2. Hailey, thank you for sharing your story and for being an encouragement to others. May those who find themselves struggling find the same Truth and seek help.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hailey, thank you for sharing your story. Your passion for others to know the power of the Cross and your humility is beautiful. Wow! You are a warrior. Love you💙

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  4. I came across your story from the web. Thank you for your transparency. I too, have a daughter who is 11 and mostly likely will be moving soon. I am curious if you have any advice on how to bring up the subject. She doesn’t know yet…however her closest friend is already planning to move at the end of school.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Be loving and understanding. Be willing to talk about how she feels hug her and show compassion if she needs to talk to anyone about it I would be more than willing to talk to her. Let her vent by just yelling outloud it helps.

      Liked by 3 people

  5. As so many others have said, beautifully written, Hailey! Thank you for your transparency. It brings such joy to my heart to see how God has worked in your life. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Love you, dear sister-in-Christ.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hailey,
    I am so very proud of you for telling your testimony. I am sure it was not easy for you. I know that God is going to use you in ways that we cannot even begin to imagine!
    Love you to the moon sweet girl!
    Ms. Jody

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This was a courageous blog to pen for all to see. I am so proud of you and your willingness to admit failure. We think pk’s have it all together. Fact is, we’re all human and desperately in need of Jesus. You have two wonderful parents who love you unconditionally! Way to go, Hailey!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have shivers going down my back, just thinking of how our awesome God is going to use you for His glory, Hailey! I am praying that young people.. or older ones, too… will read your blog and get the help from the Almighty God and His people to overcome the pain and struggles of life. Thank you!

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  9. Hailey, you are beautiful and courageous! Thank you for sharing, I know the Lord will use your testimony to help and bless many others!

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  10. Hailey,

    I have 2 teenage girls. One named Haley in particular has struggled with the same things and the other one has had and still does struggle with anger. I’m encouraged to be relentless at pursuing their hearts and just to be a better listener. Praise God for your testimony and to God be the glory, great things He has done in your life!

    Los Angeles Mommy

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wow! I needed to hear your mom and dads program and read your blog. I am 37 and like you at age preteen moved across country to leave everything that was normal, happy, love and friends. And be brought into a “new world”, which was chaos, anger, depression . Being bullied , getting into things that were not of God. It had ruined my life, my family was so messed up I couldn’t go to them to even talk. I am happy that you came to your parents quickly, as to this day my childhood has left me with anger, unforgiviness, bitterness. The Lord is slowly trying to deal with me. Thank you for sharing your story. I felt like I was the only one that went through this. I wish I would of recognized this behavior and gotten closer to God before I graduated, I did not and the enemy tourtmented me things for years . Thankful God is a redeaming Lord! Now mother of 4 I fight for my kids and do my best to protect them.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you for sharing hailey. I’m so sorry for the pain you experienced, but doesn’t it make your relationship so much sweeter. Who knows how many you have helped with your testimony. God has great things in store for you. And now your sweet parents can be a beacon for so many others as well.

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  13. So open and honest….thank you for sharing your heart !!! Many, many people have gone through terrible times and God allowed this to happen so that these people would be able to help others. Until you have walked in another person’s shoes you don’t understand what they are going through. Praise be to God for how He is using you !!! Keep Looking Up and God Will Bless You Always!!! You will win many souls to the Lord !!!

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  14. Please pray for my son (age 34) who is doing similar rebellious things later in life. That he will turn back and that I will have the patience and faith to act in obedience, not desperation.

    Your words and those of your parents give me hope

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Hailey, thank you for sharing. Bringing things out in the light is so healing. We have a young teenage girl who has a lot of anger in her that we don’t understand and praying for her. She says hurtful and angry things to her family and often shuts herself away from us. You have brought hope with your story. Like you, we know Jesus is the one to change hearts. Any advice for us as her parents would be appreciated!

    Liked by 1 person

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