This is my first time ever to blog……
To start off my blog I thought that I should give you the opportunity to understand why I am a Christian and why I am so passionate about Jesus. My father is a pastor, because of this I think that people often assume that I have a perfect relationship with Christ and that I do not understand their struggles. I am sharing my testimony so that you know I am not perfect, I am a sinner in desperate need of Jesus. My hope is that God would use this blog to glorify him and only Him.
So here is my story.
There once was a girl who was torn from everything that she knew. This girl was tormented, mocked, hated, and betrayed. She was hurt, broken, and bitter. She had become everything that she never wanted to be. This girl was simply just a girl. She was a wanderer in the midst of overwhelming crowds. This girl’s name was Hailey Haynes. Now, let me tell you her story.
Hailey Haynes was an innocent child who had everything that she ever needed or wanted. She was surrounded by people who loved her and brought joy into her life. Then, one day her father became the bearer of bad news. On this day her life was forever changed. You may ask yourself the question, “What did her father tell her?” Well, he told her the one thing every eleven year-old girl never wants to hear, “We are moving.” Those three words have forever altered Hailey’s life. That day her heart changed. She went from being a girl who saw the good in everything to the girl who saw nothing but chaos.
Hailey started hanging out with the wrong kind of friends right before she moved. These friends encouraged Hailey to cuss. These were the kind of friends who bragged about the parties that they went to on the weekend. These friends really were not her friends because they did not truly care about her. Hailey hung out with these friends because they all had one thing in common; they were hurting. No one really knew about Hailey’s new group of friends. This was Hailey’s dark little secret.
Meanwhile, moving was just around the corner. Hailey had done everything that she possibly could to convince her parents that they shouldn’t move. She screamed and yelled. She threw herself an enormous pity party. One regretful night, Hailey was done trying. She had a fight with her parents. She told them that everything in her hated them. She threatened them by saying that she would kill herself if they moved. Her parents told her that they had to move because it was God’s will. Hailey was actually going to move. When Hailey came to this realization she went to her room and locked the door. Hailey was having her first panic attack. She did everything she could to stop it until she decided that she should just kill herself. Hailey then began to suffocate herself with a belt causing her to pass out. About an hour later Hailey woke up on her bedroom floor and pretended that what she did never happened. This moment has forever been detrimental to Hailey’s life.
A couple weeks later Hailey moved. She was miserable, hurt, and furious. Hailey hated her parents and despised God. Hailey was depressed, so Hailey did the only thing that gave her an escape from the chaos. She literally suffocated herself, and looked at things that she shouldn’t have looked at. Her sin was her only escape. One could even call it her freedom. Ironically, it was her freedom that contained her. Her freedom then became her chaos. But, Hailey’s heart was so twisted and broken that she was okay with being contained. Hailey did not feel the affect of the containment until the realized that she was locked in for eternity.
Four years later, Hailey had enough anger stored in her for three thousand people. Her relationship with God dwindled away into thin air. At least her side of the relationship had withered. Hailey was looking at things she shouldn’t be looking at. She filled her mind and heart with things of the world. Hailey was full of despair instead of joy. She had become a pessimist. Her heart that used to be full of love was now full of hate. Her sin was in total control of her life. Hailey found herself drowning in self pity and was unsure of what to do. Hailey was tired; tired of fighting back and tired of struggling to be happy. Hailey was hopeless.
Then she decided that she needed help so she went to the safest place that she knew; her mom. She truly struggled to tell her mom what was going on. Finally, she told her everything. Hailey was relieved, but also disappointed with herself. Actually saying what she had been doing out loud opened Hailey’s eyes to the truth. Her mother loved her and reassured her that she would always love her. Hailey then knew she had to do the thing she feared the most. She had to tell her father what she had been doing. She had a blank face, trying to show no emotion, while telling her father what she had done. After she told her father she simply turned around and walked away fearing how he would respond. This was the most difficult thing that Hailey would ever do. The next day, she was shocked when her father embraced her in a loving hug. Her father cried with her and told that he loved her and that he would love her no matter the circumstance. He also made it clear to Hailey that he would do what ever was needed to help her. This meant so much to Hailey, but it wasn’t enough. Hailey needed redemption, she needed unconditional love, but most importantly she needed a light at the end of the tunnel.
Hailey was now at the lowest point of her life and decided that he only thing to do was to look up. She began attending counseling sessions. In these counseling sessions she finely felt free to talk about her brokenness and her bitterness. This began to bring hope into Hailey’s life. She was starting to understand that she has a purpose in life. She had to humble herself to realize that she could not fight this fight alone. She needed her parents but most of all she needed Jesus. Hailey had to develop a relationship with God in order to be freed from her sins; this was the kind of freedom that Hailey’s heart was longing to experience. Hailey had to recognize that it was necessary for her security and identity to be in Christ before things could rightly improve.
We saw that Hailey was bitter and utterly broken, covered in sorrow. Finding fulfillment in worldly things caused her to suffer. You could say that she reaped what she sowed. But when she let God take total control of her life, she was free, she was redeemed, and she had a purpose for life. Now Hailey is joyful and loves instead of hating. Yes, she still does make mistakes and does still have wounds from her mistakes but she is the daughter of the perfect Father, Jesus Christ. She knows that she is free in him. Hailey Haynes is no longer a slave to sin.